Minor Locales

There are many places in Waffle City, but they're not all that memorable, you see. Oh well.

Lemon Hospital
Situated on Lemon St., this hospital actually has friendly nurses. By 'eck, that'll be the day!

The hospital treats everybody, and even has a built-in old folks' home behind it.

It's not the biggest hospital ever; mainly because it's not run by the NHS, and it's got plenty of money because no asylum-seekers want to go to Waffle City in case they go mad.

Bus Station
It's a big bus station, because the buses are pretty hefty and the people need somewhere to wait and buy sweets.

The station is about as big as the hospital, and has the supermarket and the cop shop behind it.

Supermarket
Everything is sold here, pretty much. If it's not sold in the Shopping Centre, it's here.

The supermarket sells stuff for pretty damn cheap, but not as cheap as the cheap-ass Generic Souvenir Shop, which is actually quite expensive.

It also has a chemist. Healthy peoples!

Cop Shop
Otherwise known as the police station, these people sit around doing nothing for Waffle City is virtually crime-free, and anybody who isn't is subdued by the Spiffy Pancake organisation.

The supermarket's doughnut sales are through the roof with this lot. Also, the caf is repeatedly running out of coffee, because the continually cater for the cops.

The Caf
Does coffee, cakes and cream tea. Also does everything else a caf makes, albeit in quite low quality. Most of the things they use are out of date, yet people still visit and require a bite to eat.

However, they do have reasonable toilets and drinks. Sadly, the drinks make you want the toilet, since they use cheap laxative sugar.

Don't visit unless you're desperate. Instead, try the coffee shop in the Shopping Centre.

Plane House
You and I would call it an airport, and a pretty huge one at that. It's twice the size of the shopping centre. However, please note that it does need to hold every plane, and barely anybody takes those planes on a trip because they have been known to run out of petrol, or for the pilots to simply nod off.

The coppers do nothing about it, though, because they're either asleep or watching old CCTV tapes to try and ward off their officers into making them do something.

City Hall
Where all the meetings and suchlike happen. Parking is on the side of the building which the big green arrow points to.

Yes, this city hall has a drive-thru. Sadly, they don't offer chips or burgers; more lists of events and minutes of meetings. Like we're interested.

There is a massive TV inside the building, next to the massive window, where people watch games of snooker, golf and wiff-waff, and more importantly, Madball tourneys, competitions and championships. Why this is done is unknown, since most people in the city have a TV at home anyway, and they have all the required channels. The only understandable reason is that they're out and about and it's just been on, but there are far too many people watching at a time for that.

Arcade of Awsm
Every awesomely retro game imaginable is in here! See the marvel of Space Invaders, which was released 31 years ago...

Gaze in wonderment at Pac-man, which was over 20 years ago...

Slip your coins into Super Mario Bros. Deluxe, which was around 24 years ago...

Wrench the control stick on Metal Slug, which was 10 years ago...

Talk about retro. Nothing that's under 10 years old is actually available here. Other amazing titles include the stink of sweat, finding free change on the floor, guy at counter with a till full of 50p's, spraying people with the water fountain, and sneaking your way through to the cheap-ass souvenir shop.

Generic Souvenir Shop
Does exactly what it says on the tin. Sells crappy souvenirs which people are tempted to and ultimately waste far too much money on. It's actually starting to fall apart, considering that none of the city folk ever go there, and there are rarely any visitors.

Also, note that the souvenirs are of pretty bad quality and are sold at far too much more than the regular price. That's to rip naive old people off, and it doesn't even go to a good cause; it's for the manager to become more obese than he already is.

The nice big hotel
This hotel has 1408 rooms, you know! We also serve plenty of delicious food, warm drinks, soft beds, multi-room, um, rooms, and spacious storage, plus a little elbow room so you can at least move around. And it'll only cost you £95 each week for a small room. Don't even get me started on the big rooms.

The not-so-big apartment place
Here you'll find nigh on as much comfort as that smarmy hotel over there has, with each room only being the traditional single room plus bathroom, and less food quality. But, to be fair, here it'll cost you £64 per fortnight!

Plus, we have 1995 rooms. Eat that, you stinkin' flashy hotel over there.

Garden Centre
Finding something in this garden centre is like finding getting your keys when they're just out of reach - it's tough stuff, and frustrating too. You'll most likely find a huge flower next to a bar of chocolate, so I wouldn't bother.

However, the outside part is a lot easier when it comes to finding things; everything's all pretty much the same, with the only differences being the randomly-placed benches, sheds and huts. Plus, everything is expensive, because this place is so big and empty that they need the money to fill it up.

Top-secret-building-behind-the-garden-centre. Shhhh!
Nothing is known about this place. Rumour has it that this building contains test chambers and people who perform strange experiments on other people, but nobody has investigated since there are no visible or plausible ways in.

Train Station
Very, VERY similar to the bus station, but wider and flatter, if seen from a bird's-eye view. Also, it holds trains as opposed to buses.

But otherwise, it's pretty much identical to the bus station.

The Park (and th'other park)
Basically, you've got a nice big plot of land with various fields of play on it. Then it's duplicated. That's all.

Also includes a guard hut where you can rent out a certain kind of ball for play on said fields. It's all very helpful, plus they ask for your credit card so they can bill it.

Spiffy Pancake Organisation
The main headquarters are actually underground, and the ground above is held up by some kind of impenetrable metal fortified by magic and such.

Somewhere
A pretty vague place. This could be anywhere; from next door, to a different universe. If somebody says 'somewhere', they either don't know, have forgotten, or are just being idiotic.